#32 WLFC One year ago, I left my marriage & moved to Charleston
Here’s what I’ve learned about the Heroine’s journey & the most sobering aspect of a leap of Faith that I don’t think we realize.
This past Saturday, March 18, was my one-year anniversary of moving to Charleston, SC.
I moved out of a deep inner knowing that I needed physical space from my then husband to figure out if I still chose this marriage. I asked for the space. I needed to create distance from him to draw closer to myself. And in hindsight, to God too.
It would be the greatest leap of Faith I have ever taken and to which I want, no, NEED to write about. Today and probably for a very long time.
On Saturday, Bestie Cortney asked me how my anniversary day was going. This is what I said in a text message:
“My day is GOOD!! N made omelets, I cried happy tears for the first time in a while and I just gave praise over breakfast (what a year!!! God is good!), we watched Ted Lasso in bed, I caught up with my sister a bit, and then I went to get a massage while he worked. Currently just listening to praise music and finished cleaning the disaster that was my house! Lol intending to try and write a bit after eating.”
Her response? “Omg this sounds like the best Saturday 😍”
And ya know what? She’s right!
I’m feeling incredibly blessed and quite nostalgic. I sat in bed and scored through photos and videos from this time last year, and it’s still shocking how much my life has changed.
A year ago this past Sunday, the fragrant wisteria greeted me in sunny Charleston, SC. The day before, I had driven for 10 hours in my brand new car filled to the ceiling with my belongings. I stopped at my sisters to break up the drive.
Separation necessary. Divorce unclear.
The heartbreak was gut-wrenching, like I was hurling out my insides from all I had ever known, yet the adventure exciting, if I’m being honest. You see, he was the only man in my life up until that point, I had never lived anywhere else, and hell, I had never even taken a long solo road trip!
I was wearing a shirt that read “WOMAN UP.” I took a selfie in my childhood bathroom mirror without knowing that I would never again step foot in that house. My parents sold it months later. Wearing the same shirt from the day before, I rolled up to Charleston.
A public statement was issued to our IG communities like we were gah damn celebrities because we had SUCH a public relationship since his cycling accident, and I realized quite quickly I could not move to Charleston without him and not expect a barrage of questions. No, we needed to address the elephant in the room and ask for privacy. So we did. And in retrospect, I am glad we did, but man has this entire experience moved me towards more and more privacy, especially in my love life.
But, I digress…
Now I’m here, one year later and this video was taken just days ago after a beach day with my new boyfriend, N. My friend Wisteria greeting me once again.
New Love seemed so improbable a year ago. But then again, so did my husband’s TBI just a year after we frolicked as late honeymooners in the South of France. Maybe that’s encouraging, maybe that’s terrifying. I guess it depends on where you are right now. But either way, I believe God’s hands are at work on your behalf. Take a breath and rest in that. Praise after AND before the breakthrough.
I’m beaming in gratitude while writing this, not just for myself, but for my ex as well. Everything turned out for us. We are more than okay. We are friends. We have both moved forward with other good people and what seemed so impossible after 16 of our lives woven together, is in fact, very real.
I’m going to attempt to write about what this year has taught me. At least as much as I can in one blog post….