#43 Used To Be Young
My defiant feminist of times past would be SHOOK. Belated birthday reflections and the life I want these days that shocks the hell out of me.
Apparently I was on the same frequency as Miley Cyrus.
This week I shared on Instagram a post about my 20’s versus my 30’s. How I used to chase after freedom only to yearn for stability these days.
Then Miley blesses the world with her hit single “Used To Be Young.”
I sat on the couch and cried watching the music video. Actually, I’m here now writing this to you and those tears just happened.
These days I cry privately a lot behind the scenes. I think three years of trauma has officially caught up to me in a very real way and after the tumultuous summer I had with my breakup, I feel like one more push in the wrong direction and I could completely lose my shit and sign off Instagram for a very long time. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.
I’m not trying to sound depressing, and my life really isn’t all bad, it’s just a lot.
I’m quite nostalgic recently, which I think is normal when it feels like you’ve been through the ringer, and well, I used to be young. Not that I’m old, but I am older.
Although no one thinks I’m over 26, I turned 33 on August 13th and at this point in my life, stability is the name of the game for me. It’s my biggest yearning. A kink even.
Because freedom without stability isn’t that free.
To my free spirits, do you get me?
This love letter is a birthday reflection and musing on the girl I was and the woman I’m stepping into much to my shock and surprise. Apparently I’m ready to be the homemaker my defiant feminist of times past fought so hard not to be. But keep her spicy.