#46 The Secret Garden (formerly WLFC)
A Time to Burn, Build, and Write Again
Have you ever found yourself in the same place…but somehow not the same person?
How does one start a new blog entry when one hasn’t written since October 2023?
I guess by acknowledging that a lot of life has passed by since then, and yet I find myself in a strangely similar situation.
I’ve moved back in with my parents smack in the middle of the Bible Belt. Where every coffee shop you go in, someone has a Bible out or is talking about Jesus. It honestly puts my nervous system at such ease now.
So, why am I here?
As of June 1, I lost my corporate job due to company closure. The thing I never wanted to do, I did. I set my entrepreneurial pen down and decided to go the “normal” route with the normal job. Without hashing up too much detail and yet to provide context, I was falling into full blown depression after I burned down my New Age, feminist modeled business and was broken up with by N — for those who remember our dating adventures, I chronicled our relationship on this very app and you are more than welcome to still read. Because I’m not hiding who I was. The woman who started this blog was a fresh divorcee who hot girl summered her way into a new, younger boyfriend and a new life. Alas, Jesus quickly intercepted her plans to be the next Carrie Bradshaw and N introduced her to church.
Fast forward, we had a tragic as hell breakup that to this day I still won’t talk about because some stories are just not mine to tell.
Which brings me here. Writing this new blog entry, still single, moved back in with my parents again, BUT I’m not depressed this time. Not even a little bit. There is a verse in Ecclesiastes chapter 3 that reads:
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.A time for war and a time for peace.
We actually just discussed this verse in my small group Bible study yesterday, and get this, my friend, who is not in the group and whom I was voice memoing on my drive up, referenced this verse and asked me which “time” I was in. Hello, God wink! Upon reflection, the contrast was wildly clear. Though I may be in the same environment, in some of the same circumstances, it’s not the same at all. That woman from two years was in a time of death, mourning, healing, breakdown and seeking. This woman of today is somehow planted, building, and gathering all at the same time.
People keep asking me, how do you feel having to leave your beloved Charleston again? The truth is, I feel a supernatural peace, rootedness, and acceptance. As the kids say, no cap. I’m not just saying that. I feel it in my bones. That’s what having faith in the Lord does. You see, like any relationship, we have to build trust. And when I look back at the way God took a broken, jobless girl who arrived at her parent’s door step, still so fresh in her faith, and resurrected her back to life, I smile. I smile because God did that. I met my Jesus family, I crawled out of panic attacks, I landed a perfect corporate job, I was promoted quickly, I got to move back to Charleston with my pretty pink couch, opened a Roth IRA, and I even started going on dates again.
So, why would I doubt His faithfulness in doing it again?
I’m actually incredibly excited with what He’s about to do! Which brings me to my next point, what’s next for me?
The Secret Garden
Welcome to the rebrand of With Love From Charleston, now called, The Secret Garden.
Honest, disruptive, deeply felt reflections on life, love, longing, embodiment, and following Jesus as an Alive woman. If you are hungry for the Word and living fully— I'll meet you in the Garden.
Because healing happens in hidden places. Because this space is for the woman who loves Jesus but doesn’t always feel like a “normal” Christian. The ones who’ve wandered. The ones who feel deeply. The ones who crave intimacy with God and still wrestle with their humanity. The ones who know this walk with Jesus includes suffering—but still hunger for joy. Who sense there is MORE to our faith, a lushness we can’t place. But maybe it’s just an ancient remembering for how it was…
You want passion and depth. Me too.
The name is a nod to both Eden—the first Garden where intimacy with God was pure and whole—and the classic novel The Secret Garden, a story of hidden beauty, healing, and transformation. This space carries that same spirit: tend to the garden.
And dare I say, the concept of a garden is so sensual. It reminds me of one of my favorite books of the Bible, Song of Songs (the rated R love poem smack in the middle of the Old Testament). And like my perspective, it’s a little..disruptive.
I’m one of the “weird” Christians who used to do all the woo things. I’m celibate now, but still sensual. I’m rebuilding my embodiment coaching brand because I believe your body isn’t a barrier to God—it’s part of the way back to Him.
I spent over a decade coaching women, leading retreats, and teaching yoga (I no longer teach) and intuitive dance. So while this blog is full of my musings on faith, longing, love, and real-life messiness—it’s also meant to make you reflect. Because our stories aren’t just for us. Stories connect us.
That’s why, at the end of each piece, you’ll find:
a few journaling or reflection prompts,
and often a song to worship and/or dance to—because embodiment matters.
I pray you find pieces of yourself in these stories.
I pray you feel Jesus here.
That you laugh, cry, breathe deeper, and feel less alone as you endeavor to live capital-A Alive in Christ.
Rebuilding
In the book of Ezra in the Bible, it describes the rebuilding of God’s temple in Jerusalem which began construction around 536 BC after the Babylonians destroyed the first one built by King Solomon. Stay with me here, I have a point. Ezra 3:12-13 tells us that upon completion of just the foundation, the people gave a great shout of joy, but the older priests, wept.
But many of the older priests, Levites, and other leaders who had seen the first Temple wept aloud when they saw the new Temple’s foundation. The others, however, were shouting for joy.
This intrigued me.
Were the older priests weeping in joy or sadness? I went to my Bible study tools and read different translations and study guides and found that in fact, the older priests were sad. Probably sadness mixed with nostalgia over what was. Of the sheer magnificence of what the Temple used to be. And now all they saw was a foundation. They couldn’t imagine how it could get any better. They pined after the past.
But what did God say about it?
In Haggai 2: 1-9 he said, “Does anyone remember this house — this Temple — in its former splendor? How, in comparison, does it look to you now? It must seem like nothing at all! But now the Lord says..Be strong, all you people still left in the land. And now get to work, for I am with you, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. My Spirit remains among you, just as I promised when you came out of Egypt, so do not be afraid…The future glory of this Temple, will be greater than its past glory..and in its place I will bring peace.”
And in Zachariah it’s written, do not despite small beginnings.
So, what does it all mean?
It means, the older priests, just like so many of us do, pined after the past. How good things used to be. We fear starting over and sometimes doubt so much in the future goodness, that we delay delay delay.
To reference scripture, was there a time to mourn the burning of the temple? Yes, but it had been 50 years ya’ll. The fresh eyes of the younger generation who had not seen the prior glory shouted in joy over a mere foundation. And yet we too can look at the groundwork that God is helping us build with fresh eyes, if only we’de let go of what was, how we did it before, and trust God to do it in a new way that is everything we need in THIS season.
Which is why I’m rebuilding this blog. It will be getting a facelift, and I’ll write at least once a week as I find my flow. Writing has always brought me such simple joy. My gift is articulating the human experience and inviting room for contemplation as you yourself pursue Aliveness over merely being alive. And the subject? I endeavor to weave faith, love and the bits of my life I feel called to share in the hopes that you see yourself in it.
As for the Youtube podcast I created, it will be on pause until further notice as I do not have the physical space to record anymore, but this, this right here, as my fingers tap away at the keyboard, feels oh so good.
A foundation.
A rebuilding.
Because we are women, and periodically our very nature must burn it all down and begin again or else we lose ourselves.
Reflections
So, sweet reader, what “time” are you in right now? A time to build? A time to weep? A time to dance?
Are you holding on to the glory of a past season and missing the foundation God is laying now?
Is there a small beginning you’re being asked not to despise?
I’de love to hear from you, truly. Feel free to reply to this email or leave a comment.
