#35 WLFC Maybe this is why we have to be alone
N left for Costa Rica early this Thursday morning. I kissed him passionately outside while he ran his hands up my bare back from the crop top hoodie I was wearing, right in front of the female Lyft driver. I luckily went back to bed and woke up at 10am with none of his gazillion alarms to disturb me, but also with none of his shoes anywhere to be found. The bathroom sink a little too bare without his shaving cream.
After some morning tears and a happy birthday message to my ex, I went for a walk and saw our neighborhood Gator that we named Gino. It was the first time I saw him without N, and I have to admit, he seemed much bigger! N said it was because I wasn’t with him, and he’s probably right. Guess I need to be more like Gino and love my alone time even more!
N moved in unexpectedly at the end of February and we haven’t spent more than a day apart in two months.
Feels strange.
Guess I’ll have to get used to living alone again as he won’t be living here this summer.
Huh.
Oh and of all the days, he left on my ex-husband’s birthday. The man who I spent 16 years and 15 birthdays with in person. Guess God wanted me alone with Him to reflect? I get it.
And how could I forget, amongst the goodbyes for now, I launched a new company with my best friend, Spirit NOW, just two days before he left.
So, yeah, Thursday was a mixed bag of emotions for me.
Now I’m sitting here writing on a Friday night. The sunset is the most gorgeous bright yellow. It’s the first Friday night in probably the last two months where I have not had anyone to hang out with, namely, my boyfriend, and I’m trying to decipher how I feel about all of it.
Even more than that, I’m pondering the bigger reason for periods of aloneness.